Am I the Thorn or the Rose
by Hellix
Summary: Frost is back. Blade teams up with a hunter to stop him. PG13 for language in future. Chapter three up. on Hiatus
1. Intro and Chapter One

I am a girl who did no wrong  
I am a woman who slept with Ghosts  
I am a rock whose hands have appetites  
I am a hunter who cannot kill  
I am a mercenary with the French disease  
I am a girl who lived among shadows  
I am a woman who poisoned my enemies  
I am a rock who refused to crumble  
  
I am a cleric who trafficked in curses  
  
I am a hawk or am I a dove  
I am a girl who did little wrong  
I am a lamb or am I a wolf  
I am a thief who stole something sacred  
I am a monster who let the child go  
I am a dog with an unlikely past  
I am the hunter who followed the coffin  
I am a girl who did something wrong  
I am the thorn or am I the rose  
  
This poem was written many years ago by vampire who had the misfortune of being my prey. He told me that he wrote it about me, about the girl I had been, the woman I was, and the woman I would be. I do not know if he was telling the truth- I ripped his throat out after he told me. Perhaps it was the truth, for the words seem to fit. I was once an innocent girl who did nothing wrong, and now I am a hunter and a mercenary with the French disease of love. There are few regrets in my life. I both loathe and love what and who I am. This is my story, my life's tragic tale.  
  
Chapter One  
I was a girl who did no wrong.  
I walked this side of God when I could.  
I kept an angel in my pocket and a cross around my neck,  
though I do not think it did me any good.  
  
I was born to the name of Alessandra James. I had a good life, surrounded by those I loved and never wanting anything more than what I had. Perhaps that's why it was taken from me, I don't know for sure. I lost it all when I was sixteen. It had been Christmas Eve. I was living with my Grandmother, and my mother and my stepfather were visiting, along with some family friends and my baby brother. I had been upstairs with my boyfriend, Mathew, when I first heard my brother's screams. I remember running down the stairs, Mathew right behind me. I remember standing in horror as he ran to try and save my brother. I remember watching my brother's throat get ripped out. I remember watching my parents die. I remember tripping over my grandmother's dead body as I tried to reach Mathew. I remember watching his body crumple to the floor. I remember the creature who murdered them turn to me, with my loved ones' blood dripping from his mouth. I remember him reaching for me and his fangs piercing the side of my neck. I do not remember ever screaming, though I'm sure I did. But I know I didn't cry; I didn't know how, for I never had had a reason to before. I remember the way it felt to die. I remember waking up after that. I died than awoke. But I wasn't a vampire. I wasn't human either. Something had woken up inside of me, and I needed answers, and revenge. I learned more than I wanted to know when I got my answers. I eventually got my revenge years later. I found the vampire who had destroyed my life and tore my loved ones away from me. I remember the way it felt when I ripped his heart out. At that moment I understood: Alessandra James was dead. I was someone else, and that someone was a hunter. So I renamed myself, and embraced my new self and the life that accompanied it. 


	2. Chapter two

AN: Forgot to do a disclaimer in the first chapter so here it is. The poem in the beginning of first chapter is from the book Mirror, Mirror. I don't own anything related to Blade. Everything else is mine. Thanks for your reviews. Sorry it's been so long, butmy demonic computer crashed. Morereviews equal more updates.

I am a woman who slept with a Ghost.

I thought there was nothing bad with this boast.

I tried my best to separate my heart and my work,

But in the end I lost what I guarded most.

I guess it was expected. The bad girl fell for the bad boy.

I'd stopped being Alessandra James; I was someone new. I was Julia.

Julia Rose was never a good person. So what, see if I care. Julia Rose killed vampires for a living. I had no moral obligations—I liked what I did.

The vampires hired me as an assassin to kill their enemies. That was how I met him.

I remember the first time we met. We were in one of his clubs. He was arrogant—that annoyed me. But I was arrogant too.

I could tell from the beginning he was attracted to me. I purposely teased him. I wore short skirts, tight shirts. I was playing with him. We stopped playing the day he grabbed to fistfuls of my shoulder-length, blonde hair and kissed me.

I kept him at arms length. He was like a drug—too much and you were addicted. I didn't give a damn about him. To me, our relationship was purely physical. To him—who the hell knew what the man was thinking? But I knew it was more to him. I knew, somewhere deep down inside, that when he stared at me with his smoldering eyes that it was more than just physical desire. I knew it when he kissed me, when he held me after we slept together. It was more to him.

I still carried the scars from Alessandra James's life. Two small white dots of scar tissue lie on my pale white neck. The first time he found them he ran his finder over them and asked me where I got them.

"Oh, just from some idiot who died right after. My employer decided he didn't want to pay and sent some lackeys to kill me."

He bought the lie, or he just plain didn't care. That was the last time I told him anything about my past. I hated talking about the past. Funny thing was, neither did he.

I am a rock whose hands have appetites.

They devour their prey with large bites.

I cannot rest or cope with idyllic fantasies,

For I must constantly seek the new fights.

I got bored with him fast, but that's to be expected. I wanted him, but I craved the thrills of the hunt. So I left. He was ever so pissed off when I came back. It annoyed me, a lot.

He became controlling. He didn't want me to take any new job offers. He wanted me there with him. He kept trying to get me to let him turn me. I pointed a gun at his crotch and told him if he ever tried I'd shoot his balls off.

We began to fight. We fought a lot. Over the stupidest things. One day, he gave me my new name.

"Julia Rose couldn't be a worse name for you," he screamed. "You're a freaking thorn in my side, Ms. Rose."

After that, I changed my name to Julia Thorne. I liked it so much better. Rose had always felt a bit too sweet, too cutesy for my taste. Thorne was better.

He annoyed me. I hate things that annoy me. I began to feel things for him for the first time—feelings of contempt. Every little annoying habit I began to loathe. His constant need for control was suffocating. So I left, and didn't come back.


	3. Chapter three

I know I should be studying for finals, but I couldn't stop myself from writing this. 

Enjoy. For disclaimer, see chapter two.

* * *

_I am a hunter who cannot kill._

_I'm weak no matter the price on the bill._

_I thought I would never falter in the hunt,_

_But I'm not so naive still.

* * *

_

I'd never met a creature I couldn't kill. It was that simple. No matter what, everything always dies.

Except for Him. I didn't think of him for three years after I left. At least, not until

Dragonetti pushed the file across the table.

He'd hired me before. He didn't seem to learn that he was wasting me on idiots who could have been killed with regular bullets. He got tired of my complaining, so he gave me "something harder."

"Here's that challenge you've been wanting," he told me.

I raised my eyebrow. "Sure," I said, my disbelief obvious.

I opened the file. I didn't even pay attention to the name. My concern was how much he thought he was going to pay me. "I think I found a slight problem with this."

I placed the file down at the table and pointed to the amount of money at the problem. "You see this number? Obviously you must have gotten this file confused with another one, because, well, there's no way in hell I'd ever work for that price. I'm gonna guess and say either it's a typo, or you're just plain stupid." I chucked the file back at him. "So unless you're gonna tell me that's a typo, stop wasting my time."

He scowled at me. "Ms. Thorne, I don't know who you think you are to order me, but—"

"Look," I said cutting him off, "you've hired me to work for you seven times this year. You know my standards when it comes to my work, and specifically, my payment."

"Ms. Thorne, you came to me very highly recommended, but I find you a most trying individual. My patience with you wears thin. I'll let you have a few days to think over my offer, and then we'll meet again. If you've reconsidered, we'll discuss the details of when and how you'll receive your payment."

"Which we both know's gunna have a lot more zeros on the end of it."

He gave in and relented to my demands for a much higher paycheck. Only then did I realize it was my former lover I was supposed to kill. I didn't think it would be an issue at all. He was just like any other vampire. So what if I'd slept with him.

I stood on the roof a building, seventeen stories up, directly across from his apartment. The large glass windows made it eyes to snipe him.

I saw him. My finger was on the trigger. But I paused. Another woman had walked into the room. He kissed her, passionately. She had blonde hair, like me.

He'd replaced me. It was to be expected, but still, he'd replaced _me_. I didn't like that one bit, not at all. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did.

I got up, disabled the gun, and walked on. I would kill him, there was no doubt in that, but it would be another way. I would make it up, close, and personal, true Julia Thorne style. Dragonetti wouldn't like it, but screw him. I always liked knives best.

* * *

_I am a mercenary with the French disease._

_You can call it love if you please._

_But calling it love never seemed right,_

_As it was more that my heart had been seized.

* * *

_

Three days later, the hunt began. I'd watched, researched, and studied my prey.

I would kill. After all, it's what I was born to do.

I sauntered into the nightclub, practically oozing confidence and sex. He didn't notice me whatsoever. That pissed me off.

I'd get his attention all right.

I grabbed the nearest idiotic human. The man was young, in college perhaps and somewhat intoxicated, though not quite drunk. Not that that mattered to him. As far as he saw it, it looked as though he was about to get lucky with the first attractive female to ever come on to him in a bar. Like I said, idiot.

I was all over him. Best way to get attention is to make a scene. If it had been any other night, I might have actually gone home with the guy. I was being rough, and he sure as hell didn't seem to be complaining. A lot guys hate it when their future one-night-stand is rough. They start thinking S & M and flip out.

We were definitely getting looks from his entourage, even one or two whistles. Eventually one of them came over. It didn't surprise me. Lots of Vampiric men love it when a woman is rough. Makes them think she won't freak out when he sinks his fangs into her throat latter in bed.

"Hey babe," the vamp said. "How about I show you what a real man's like?"

I came up from giving my companion the world's biggest neck hickey with a flick of my hair.

"How about you back off? Can't you see I'm busy?"

I leaned down and gave my companion a kiss so fierce it looked like I was trying to suck his soul out by way of his mouth. When I came back up for air he was gasping for breath. I downed a shot and turned back to the vampire.

"I thought I told you to get lost."

"Come on, there's no use in wasting your time with a loser like that."

"Really, cause from where I'm standing you're the damn loser."

At this point, the vamp proceeded to get angry. "Hey listen bitch, nobody—"

"Quinn, what the hell are you whining about this time?"

There he was, the devil himself, my prey.

"Dude, I just…"

"Get lost, Quinn."

He turned to me, but I went back to kissing my companion before he could see my face.

"I'm sorry about my friend. He has a large habit of being a pain in the ass."

I sat back up. The guy I'd been kissing passed out, either from alcohol or lack of oxygen.

"Pity, seems my date's passed out." I turned to face him.

"Deacon Frost, it's been a while."

Frost looked startled for a minute before he recovered. "Well, well. Julia, what a surprise. It's been what, twelve months?"

"Really? I haven't thought about it." That pissed him off, I could tell. "After all, I've been rather busy. You?"

"I've been alright."

He was cold. It made me want to smile. This was too much fun. I'd missed this, pissing him off.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Same as always?"

He still knew what I liked. Damn, what a surprise.

"No actually." I turned to the bartender. "Bloody martini, heavy on the blood."

"Bloody Martini?" asked Frost, raising an eyebrow.

"One black olive and red vodka mixed with well, blood."

"So you've finally joined the superior species," he stated with a knowing smile.

"I'll just let you guess on that." I smiled as the bartender handed me the drink.

At that moment, Frost's new girlfriend came and draped herself over him. The annoying ass hole from before, Quinn, wasn't far behind.

"Babe, can we go yet? This place is getting soooo boring," she crooned.

"Hey, Deac man, why are you talking to the super bitch monster?"

I laughed at that. Quinn jumped. Frost told me once my laugh was like a mix between the most seductive sound on earth and nails on a chalkboard. I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about, but whatever.

"Oh, 'super bitch monster.' That one I like. I take it you keep him around for the occasional comic relief?"

"Deac man, do you know this chick?" Quinn asked in confusion.

"This is Julia Thorne, an old friend of mine. Jules, this is Quinn."

"Yeah, I got that. Who's the platinum blonde slut?" I asked motioning to his girlfriend.

Her face squeezed up into anger. My gun was aimed at the center of her forehead before she even had time to move. She froze. I had a feeling I knew what her thought process was at the moment. After all, no _human_ can move that fast.

"Shit!" exclaimed someone, probably Quinn. Deacon just stood there, smirking at me.

"This is Mercury. Quinn, shut your mouth. Your breath stinks."

"No way, no freaking way," Quinn said, staring.

"Something wrong Quinn?"

"She can't move like that."

"I believe I just did," I stated smoothly.

Quinn just stared. Mercury glared. Deacon smirked. I became very aware of the thirty or so vamps in the club starting to notice my gun.

Deacon laughed. And just like that, I was back in his circle, back to kill him.

Somehow or other, I ended up in his apartment that night. I walked in, taking in the sights, the possible locations of weapons, and the security cameras. I glanced at the fountain, or was it a pool. Who knew?

"Like the ducks."

He smiled. "You always said you thought they were cute."

"No, I believe I always said I thought they looked evil."

"Cute, evil, what's the difference?"

"I like the view."

I paused to look out the window. The entire skyline was spread out before me. Deacon came up behind me.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

I nodded. He put his arms around my waste, holding me tight, a very bad position for me, because I couldn't reach any weapon easily, a fact I became very aware of.

He kissed me lightly on my neck. I felt his fangs brush my skin.

"Deacon," I said, my tone warning him he was going to far.

"Twelve months was too long Jules. I've missed you."

"I was under the very firm belief that we were over."

"Really," he smirked. "Whatever gave you that impression?"

"For starters, your girlfriend sleeping on the floor below this."

"Jealous Jules?"

I snorted. "Oh please."

"I think you are."

He didn't let me speak. Instead, he sang softly into my ear.

"Take, oh take those lips away that so sweetly were forsworn;

And those eyes, the break of day, lights that do mislead the morn.

But my kisses bring again, bring again;

Seals of love, seals of love, but seal'd in vain, seal'd in vain.

Take, oh take those lips away that so sweetly were forsworn;

And those eyes, the break of day, lights that do mislead the morn, the morn."

I paused after he finished before I said anything. "Why is it you only sang to me when no one else was around?"

"I believe it's 'sing,' as in present tense," he said, kissing my neck. "You're the only person I sing for."

"Pity, I'm sure you're girlfriend would love a private performance."

He turned me so that I was facing him.

"Stop talking Julia."

Then he kissed me. He kissed me as if it was the end of the world, and this was our last minute before we were sucked into oblivion.

It was later that night when I sat up and quietly got out of bed. He lay there sleeping, completely unaware he was about to die. I went to where my discarded clothes lay, and grabbed one of my knives. He hadn't been surprised when he'd seen the weapons; he expected it. He even helped me remove some of the sheaths in my haste to remove my clothing.

I'd picked my favorite to kill him with. Coincidentally, he'd given it to me. It was silver, with tiny vines of climbing roses etched all over the blade. There were even tiny thorns on the vines.

I walked over to the bed. I sat down and knelt over him. I raised the knife for the killing blow.

But it never came down.

I paused and stared at him. I watched his sleeping form in confusion. Then I realized it.

I cursed him. Damn him for doing this to me. Damn him for loving me. Damn him for making me love him back.

I through on my clothes and left. I needed time to rethink, to recalculate. I needed time to convince myself he meant nothing, was nothing. I needed time, because I wasn't about to admit defeat.


End file.
